Mothers Day can be difficult for those who have experienced loss. And over the last year in particular, we’ve lost many more grandmothers, aunts, sisters and other maternal figures than ever before. At The Laura Centre, whether you’ve been bereaved of a child or parent, we never want you to feel alone in your grief.
Instead of ‘dreading’ this Mothers Day, and the emotions it might bring about, try to find your own special way to mark your loved ones life. Here are some of our top tips for coping with grief this Mothers Day.
Give yourself time to grieve
You might not want to hear it, but time really is a healer. Holidays like this will be difficult, particularly the first few. So it’s important to prepare for them, and not to rush back in to your normal routine. Instead, give yourself a break from typical ‘life’ duties to take care of your mind and mental health. Ask yourself, ‘How do I want to spend my day?’, and take it from there.
Reach out to friends and family
Your friends and family will always be there for you, no matter when you need them. It’s important to share your feelings, so as to not be consumed by them. This year, take the time to Zoom, Skype or Facetime your loved ones. Perhaps you could plan a quiz or games night, or join your friend for a walk in the local park. Being in the company of others can distract your mind.
Seek support if you need it
There is no shame in seeking support when you need it. In fact, it’s the healthiest thing you can do for your mental health. At The Laura Centre, our specialist counsellors offer a safe environment for you to confide. Our therapies range from holistic to traditional, and our door is always open.
Be kind to yourself
Grief can take a massive toll on our mental health. And just as we look after our body, we must look after our mind. This Mothers Day, block out some time for self care – and never feel guilty for it. Struggling with sleep? A mid-afternoon nap is the answer. Or just need to relax? Run yourself a bubble bath or try your hand at meditation. You will be back to yourself, it’ll just take time.
Reminisce on your favourite memories
What made you laugh about your loved one? Did you ever share a holiday together? Do you have an embarrassing story about them? These are all memories you can reminisce on with fellow grievers this Mothers Day. If you’d prefer to spend the day alone, dig out some old photos and create a scrap book, or write your memories in a journal. The next time you’re feeling low, you can explore your memories on paper.
Avoid grief triggers
Is there a particular song, film or activity that reminds you of your loved one? These can be grief triggers, where an unexpected memory can cause pain. They’re usually out of your control, but you can still do your best to avoid them by being mindful of your surroundings and activities on the day.
Avoid social media
Regular detoxes from social media are important for your mental health. Often we find ourselves comparing our lives to the lives of those online. And on Mothers Day, our feeds are likely to feature celebrations and promotions every which way we look. This could trigger a sudden wave of grief, so it’s best to have a phone-free day if possible.
Ask your children how they want to spend the day
If you have children who’ve been bereaved of a Mother figure, ask them how they feel about Mothers Day. It’s really important to start a conversation about grief, and sharing your own feelings could encourage your children to open up. It can also be helpful to speak to your child’s school about Mothers Day. If they plan to celebrate it, you can ask your children how they’d like to be involved.
Do something in their honour
Cook their favourite meal, visit their favourite park or finish that DIY project they always wanted to complete. And if you’d like to take it one step further, you could enter a charity event in their honour, or even start your own.
This Mothers Day, you don’t have to be alone in your grief. And you shouldn’t be alone in your grief. Contact our referral team on 0116 254 4341 now for support.